The Art of Marital Happiness

While love and companionship in a marriage brings deep joy and fulfillment, it also brings inevitable challenges. Two significantly different individuals are coming together to share a life together, so conflicts are bound to arise. Strong and last-lasting marriages are defined not by a lack of conflict, but by how a couple navigates differences and weather through storms together.  

ESSENTIAL TOPICS THAT EVERY COUPLE SHOULD DISCUSS BEFORE MARRIAGE 

Exploring these topics and aligning early helps couples build a strong foundation before marriage:  

Financial habits: Spending habits, debt management, and budgeting.  
Life expectations: Shared visions for the future and lifestyle goals. 
Family planning: Views on having children and parenting styles. 
Household responsibilities: Views on splitting and managing household responsibilities.  
Time and space: Balancing couple time with personal time and hobbies. 
Boundaries with extended family: Managing relationships and expectations with in-laws. 
Communication style: Understanding each other’s communication and conflict styles.   

TIPS TO BUILDING MARITAL HAPPIENSS AND RESILLENCE IN A MARRIAGE 

Cultivate mutual trust and respect: Actively listen to your partner's thoughts and feelings, even when you see things differently. Learn to respect each other's need for personal space and emotional security. Remember that trust grows when both partners feel valued in the marriage.   

Prioritise communication: Build a healthy and safe space for communication in the marriage. Don't assume how another person thinks and be sure to express your feelings, needs, and concerns openly and clearly. Be willing to step into your partner's shoes and see situations from their point of view.   

Choose respectful conflict management: Avoid fighting to win an argument but instead focus on finding constructive solutions that both parties can agree or compromise on. After an argument or disagreement, take active steps to reconcile quickly and avoid sweeping things under the carpet or letting tension linger.   

Pursue a growth mindset: View marriage as an ongoing journey of learning and discovery. There is always more to discover about each other as you navigate different life stages together. You can stay on the same team by acting as teammates who are working side by side to make the marriage work. 
 
Express gratitude actively: Regularly acknowledge your partner's efforts and contributions at home or in the marriage. Show your appreciation using their preferred love language, whether that is giving a gift, writing a heartfelt card, or planning a special date. 

Attend pre-marital courses or seek professional help: For couples who are dating and planning to marry soon, attending pre-marital programmes or counselling can prepare you for marriage. It gives you a heads-up on key aspects of marriage to be mindful of and ensures that the both of you align on critical topics early.  

For couples who are married and facing a challenge that you find difficult navigating on your own, seeking professional help might be useful. Expand your support network to include an experienced counsellor who can help you and your partner on this journey. TOUCH Counselling and Psychological Services offers counselling for couples to work through relationship issues and forge stronger bonds. You may call the TOUCHline at 1800 377 2252 (Mondays to Fridays, 9am to 6pm) to speak with a counsellor.            

TOUCH Marriage Support aims to enrich marriages to build a strong foundation for families. Through a range of holistic programmes led by experienced marriage educators and counsellors, TOUCH Marriage Support prepares young couples for marriage, strengthens spousal relationships, guides couples through conflict resolution, and empowers couples to navigate and cope with the stressors and challenges which they may face in their marriage.    

TOUCH Counselling and Psychological Services Group (TCPSG) runs personalised therapy and counselling programmes to empower individuals to be more resilient, cope with daily living, and rise above their circumstances. Through its Supportive Intervention Care Model which comprises Community Care, Private Care and CareTech, TCPS ensures that individuals and families from all backgrounds receive timely care curated to their specific needs. Its expert team of counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists specialise in areas such as, psychological assessment and diagnosis, trauma therapy, suicide prevention, youth mental wellness, and digital addiction intervention and affair/divorce recovery.