Supporting your Child's Gaming Habits

Your child spends long hours playing games and you're worried. We get it.  

While you might sometimes feel stressed or even helpless managing your child's digital habits, your active involvement makes all the difference. As a parent, you have the front-row seat to your child's daily life, placing you in the best position to build trust, model healthy routines, guide online behaviour, and create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their digital experiences with you.  

Before you jump into managing your child's digital habits, it might be helpful to distinguish between leisure screen time and productive screen time. Frustration can come up when all screen time is lumped into a single category. Understanding the difference changes your perspective.  

Tailored expectations: Knowing when your teen is gaming or studying allows you to set more appropriate expectations. For instance, expecting focused studying during a designated gaming session would not be realistic. 
Targeted communication: To help your teen find a healthy balance, you can have conversations with them about managing gaming and studying time. This promotes collaboration between both parties and reduces potential conflict. 
Positive reinforcement: When parents acknowledge productive screen time (e.g., educational apps, online research), it reinforces positive digital usage.  

HOW DO PARENTS SUPPPORT THEIR CHILDREN'S GAMING HABITS  

Talk openly and listen: Learn to engage in open conversations with your child and adopt a curious mind to find out what they are doing online and the games they are playing. It helps pave the way for meaningful conversations about healthy digital use and online habits. In the process of doing that, you also understand your child’s interests and needs, which helps to build trust and foster empathy. 

Understand their world: By asking questions and discussing their online activities, you gain valuable insights into the appeal of the digital world for your child. Try asking open-ended questions that encourage your child to elaborate: "What was your favourite part of the game today?" or "How did you feel about your gaming today?" The general rule of thumb is to understand and have a conversation about it. Seek to listen and avoid criticising their choices or habits. This builds trust and helps your child to feel comfortable seeking your guidance in the future.  

Discuss the potential risks: Encourage open communication by showing genuine interest in their online world. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively to their sharing. Seize opportunities for casual chats ("teachable moments") to share bite-sized safety advice that’s relevant to their gaming and online activities. Discuss the physical and mental health impacts of spending excessive time on games, such as deprived sleep, eye strain, physical fatigue and a sedentary lifestyle that affects overall well-being. By talking openly about these health effects rather than just setting bans, you can empower them to recognise their own limits and balance gaming with rest, physical activity, and face-to-face interactions.   

Establish ground rules and clear actions to take: Involve your child in establishing clear ground rules about their gaming hours. This may include setting agreed-upon time limits, designating screen-free windows, or ensuring homework and rest come first. It's never too late for parents to help teens build a healthy balance with gaming. The best approach is a collaborative gaming time agreement.  

As the child matures, the approach should also shift. For older youths, rigid time controls or locked-down schedules are often ineffective. It’s key that you respect the growing independence of your teens and their desire to manage their own schedules. Give them choices within boundaries, such as allowing them to choose when to fit in their gaming hours as long as responsibilities are met and acknowledge their ability to self-regulate. Ultimately, the goal is to empower them to manage their time responsibly rather than constantly dictating their gaming schedule.  

Tap on resources and tools: Utilise available resources and tools to develop healthy digital habits and navigate the cyberspace safely. Learning how to navigate screen time safely and healthily is the first step to tackling gaming addiction or becoming aware of it. TOUCH Cyber Wellness offers practical and engaging parent-child resources through our First Device Campaign, designed to support families as children receive their first devices and begin their digital journey. The First Device Campaign resources and tools will empower parents to play an active role in their child's digital lives and nurture them to become safe, responsible and confident cyber users. Find out more here. You can also visit the newly launched DigitallyUs@Marine Parade that aims to help youths and their families learn about developing and maintaining digital habits and improving emotional well-being. Find out more here.  
 
SEEKING HELP AND INTERVENTION  
Lastly, if your child is struggling with problematic gaming or device use, help is available, and seeking support early can make a huge difference. At TOUCH, we offer a six- to nine-month intervention programme called DigitalMINDSET to help youths aged between 12 and 21 with their excessive gaming and the mental health related issues. Under DigitalMINDSET, participants undergo counselling, and individual and group therapy sessions to identify the root of their gaming issue and are equipped with healthy coping techniques to help them better manage their excessive gaming or device use and develop strong emotional regulation skills.  You may email mentalhealth@touch.org.sg to find out more or call the TOUCHline at 1800 377 2252 (Mondays to Fridays, 9am to 6pm) to speak with a counsellor.     

TOUCH Cyber Wellness (TCW) is an award-winning and leading pioneer in the field of cyber wellness and new media literacy. It has spearheaded efforts to reach out to 360 schools and more than 1.6 million children, youths, parents, educators and counsellors. Through mentoring and advocacy, TCW has engaged Singapore youths to address social and behavioural issues of excessive cyber usage. It delivers a range of pre and post intervention programmes that instil the principles of good digital citizenship in the community.     

TOUCH Counselling and Psychological Services Group (TCPSG) runs personalised therapy and counselling programmes to empower individuals to be more resilient, cope with daily living, and rise above their circumstances. Through its Supportive Intervention Care Model which comprises Community Care, Private Care and CareTech, TCPS ensures that individuals and families from all backgrounds receive timely care curated to their specific needs. Its expert team of counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists specialise in areas such as, psychological assessment and diagnosis, trauma therapy, suicide prevention, youth mental wellness, and digital addiction intervention and affair/divorce recovery.